3. My and Your Hut (1)
It happened before I was born.
To be precise, while I was still in my mother’s womb, she was cursed by a witch.
I don’t know exactly why.
All I know is that my parents were once great adventurers, and that the witch had lost all her disciples to them.
She cast the curse out of resentment for losing her disciples, or so it goes.
She didn’t even consider that her disciples were kidnapping children to make potions, she didn’t even know what they were doing…
If you ask me if I resent the witch, well… isn’t resentment a given?
But my resentment is one that will never be resolved, no matter how much time passes.
Because the witch died at the hands of my father the moment she cast the curse.
Anyway, my cursed mother immediately sought a priest to lift the curse.
Ironically, the curse was lifted with the help of a priest who happened to be present.
Regrettably, the curse was so terrible that even after it was lifted, its aftermath remained.
In fact, the curse was not aimed at my mother, but at me.
Yes. I was born under the witch’s curse.
It was my mother who received the curse, but since I bore the full brunt of its effects, I might as well say I received it.
In retrospect, it’s a fitting tale.
Thus, I was born with the hand of a lizard, not a human.
Yes. I was born a half-human, half-lizard monster from the start.
The only fortunate thing was that my size was similar to that of a human.
So my parents made gloves that fit my hands, and I lived hiding my hands with those gloves.
But there are no such thing as an eternal secret.
As I grew older, my nails grew along with my body, and I, unaware of this, accidentally scratched another child’s back while playing tag.
Blood gushed out with a ‘yelp’.
Deep claw marks followed the path my hand had taken on the child’s back.
I was young, but I could easily realize that I was the one who made those marks.
Naturally, it caused an uproar in the village.
Thanks to that, those who didn’t know the circumstances saw my mother as a prostitute who had relations with a monster.
My father was enraged by this, but there was nothing he could do.
He couldn’t kill all the villagers, nor could he openly declare that his child was cursed by a witch.
Especially since he knew all too well how a cursed child would be treated by others, he couldn’t do that.
So, my father and mother hid me in the forest.
We disappeared from the village so that others couldn’t find us.
―My child. You are a human. You are definitely not a monster’s child.
―Nae. We love you, Nae. So don’t ever think that you are hated.
Every time my parents saw my hand, every time I cried from cutting myself on my own nails, they told me this.
But I understood their words, yet I couldn’t accept them.
―Dad. Why are my hands different from yours and mom’s? Am I really a monster?
―Nae, your hands were born strong to protect others.
―Your hands are hard to protect the weak from the bad people. Your nails are sharp to drive away the bad people.
I clung to that thought and somehow managed to live on… but after that…
Just like any monster born beneath ordinary people, I lived a life shunned by others. The mother who gave birth to such a monster was also ostracized by the villagers, and the father who protected such a mother was similarly shunned.
The only real blessing was that my mother and father didn’t abandon me. But those kind parents, absurdly, passed away from a mere cold.
Just because of a cold. Just because of a measly cold.
They passed away because they couldn’t get medicine. There’s no medicine for a monster, they said. Ha! What a joke. What did I do? What did my mother do? What did my father do?
So, I went mad with revenge and killed everyone in the village. It’s a late confession, but the reflection I saw in the mirror then…
Looked like a monster.
No, it was a monster. If it’s not human and kills people, it’s a monster.
After that, I was chased by many people. First, it was the guards. Then, it was the adventurers who came to capture me after a bounty was placed. And then… the knights who came to kill me after a subjugation order was issued.
I killed and killed again. There was never a day when the blood on my hands dried. There was never a day when the smell of blood left my body. Every time I killed a person, my hands grew larger. Scales grew on me, and my nails became sharper and longer.
When I came to my senses, I was no longer a human but a complete monster.
-Mom. I… I guess I was really a monster…
My hands were hard to easily crush human skulls.
My nails were sharp to easily tear human bodies apart.
My body didn’t tire so I could kill even one more person.
I was strong so I wouldn’t miss even one person.
I was terrified of myself, who had become a monster. I was disgusted with a world where I would die if I didn’t kill someone.
‘Ah. There’s no place for me in this world.’
Then let’s disappear. Like when I was a child. Let’s disappear to a place where no one can reach.
So, I ran away to a forest where there were no people.
I hid in a harsh wilderness where the knights couldn’t find me.
Being alone was lonely, but at least it wasn’t painful.
After my parents passed away, well, I was alone every day, so being alone was more familiar.
While living like that, a kid appeared.
No, to be precise, I found a kid.
“…What’s that? A human?”
It was more strange not to notice the large black lump on the white snowfield.
It wasn’t strange for a person to die in such a wilderness, so I was going to just leave it.
The sight of it shivering without a single thread on this chilly snowfield was just like…
-I don’t want to… I don’t want to kill anymore…
Seeing my past self, I ended up taking the kid to my hut.
“Ha… Why did I bring such a kid…”
At first, I regretted it. It would be scared and think of me as a monster anyway, so why did I do such a thing.
But I couldn’t just leave the kid I had picked up back on the snowfield, so I warmed up the room, gave it clothes, and waited for the kid to open its eyes.
As time passed, the kid who opened its eyes looked around blankly and muttered.
“Heaven…?”
What kind of life had it lived to call this shabby hut heaven?
…Well, if it had lived a comfortable life, it wouldn’t have been freezing to death naked on the snowfield.
“Pity, but this isn’t heaven. And I’m no God.”
The child was taken aback.
What was surprising was not that he turned to look at me, but that he flinched.
As if he was afraid of being hit.
“Wh, who are you?”
“I’m the owner of the bed you’re lying on.”
Only then did the child push away the blanket and cautiously stick out his head.
And the child’s eyes when he saw me…
As if he had just found the meaning of his existence.
They were shining endlessly.
“What’s with that look? I guess I’m not scary to you?”
When I asked, thinking it was strange, even wondering if the child had gone mad, the response was quite a spectacle.
“Are you going to eat me?”
“What…?”
I was annoyed at the absurdity of his words, not fear.
No matter how many people I’ve killed, I’ve never eaten a person.
That was the last line that allowed me to remain human.
So when I laughed at the child asking why I would eat him, the child’s expression soured.
“…I’m sorry. If I had looked a bit tastier….”
-I’m sorry, mom… if my hands were normal….
“I’m sorry… for being utterly useless….”
-I’m sorry, for being such a monster….
Seeing him digging his own grave, I reached out to the child, seeing myself in him once again.
The child, looking at me, closed his eyes quietly as if accepting his fate.
I thought for a moment about saying something, but I didn’t.
Slowly raising my hand, I placed it on the child’s head.
Not to blow his head off, not to tear him apart with my nails.
Just gently, as my father used to do for me, to softly stroke his head.
The child, who had opened his eyes wide in surprise, looked at me with eyes full of questions rather than fear.
After a moment of stuttering, I shrugged my shoulders and spoke.
“Don’t be so gloomy. I brought you here because I wanted to.”
“Do you… need me?”
Need. Well.
That wasn’t it.
Because I wanted to. Because I didn’t want to be alone. Because I thought that the child, who was in the same situation as me, might see me as a person, not a monster.
That’s why I brought him here, with such a petty expectation.
But I didn’t have the words to tell him that directly, and the child who asked if I was going to eat him as soon as he saw me was annoying, so I deliberately gave a slightly harsh answer.
“No? It’s just that it’s unsightly when people freeze to death near my house. That’s why I brought you.”
That was a lie. The place where the child had collapsed was at the edge of the forest.
And this place, where the hut was, was deep in the forest between the mountains.
“Then… you’ll abandon me when spring comes. Because I’m a useless piece of trash….”
He must have lived a harshier life than I thought.
After looking at the child for a moment, I said with a faint smile.
“You don’t have to be useful here.”
“Being useless… is okay…”
This time, I decided to speak honestly and opened my mouth.
“As I said before, I brought you here because I wanted to. Just being by my side is enough. It’s lonely being alone.”
After saying everything, my chest felt strangely itchy and my face was flushed, so I laughed, “Nihihi.”
“I’m Nae. No last name. Just Nae.”
And so, my hut.
Became my and your hut.
Thanks.