Chapter 5 – 2. Nae and My Hut (3)

2. Nae and My Hut (3)

After that day, I did everything I could for Nae.

I changed the cloth wrapped around her leg every day, gathered herbs every day, and applied medicine to her leg.
Every day, I burned firewood to keep the room warm, and every day, I prayed to God.

Today will be better than yesterday.
Tomorrow will be better than today.

I reassured myself as I took care of Nae.
I didn’t give up. I didn’t become despondent.

Whenever my heart wavered, I steadied myself and stroked Nae’s head, smiling at her playfully, just as she had done for me.

“Nae, I gathered herbs again today, but when I was digging through the snow to find them, I found a rabbit hole.”

Just like how she used to tell me about her day in the forest, what animals she caught, I told her about my day gathering herbs, what happened, and what kind of day I had.

“I thought the hole would collapse if I kept digging, so I covered it up. Because of that, I was a bit late since I had to gather another herb. Hehe.”

But no matter how much I prayed, no matter how hard I tried, no matter how much I smiled, Nae’s condition didn’t improve.

The gods didn’t answer my prayers.
The sun that had set didn’t seem to rise again.

The long night continued endlessly.
Every time I looked at Nae’s leg that wasn’t getting better, my heart felt like it would break.

Every time I saw Nae groaning in pain at night, it felt like my heart was being torn apart.
Suddenly, the forgotten pain revealed itself again.

―It’s your fault again.
―Nae got hurt because of you.

“No…”

―Why are you denying it? Nae got hurt while hunting for you. If that’s not your fault, then what is?
―Can’t you even admit your own mistake now?

The creaking sound in my head continued endlessly.
My vision spun.

I felt nauseous from the guilt.
Tears wouldn’t stop from the sense of debt.

―Useless.
―What can you do? You can’t do anything. What you’re doing is meaningless.
―Incompetent.
―Even the gods have abandoned you. No one likes you.
―It would have been better if something like you hadn’t been born.

“No. No…”

Nae said it was okay if I was useless here.
Just being by her side was enough, that was all that was needed.

Even if I covered my ears, the creaking sound, the sound of a plate breaking, the sound of a pen scratching paper, wouldn’t stop.
Would the sound stop if I tore my ears off?

“Black, rabbit…”

The moment I heard Nae’s voice, all those sounds disappeared as if they were lies.
When I suddenly turned my head to look at the bed, I locked eyes with Nae, who was smiling with her teeth showing on her haggard face.

“What… are you, mumbling about… Jeez… I can’t sleep…”

For a moment, my memory flew away.
By the time I came to my senses, I was already crying in Nae’s arms.

“Heh… You’ve become quite the crybaby while I wasn’t looking…”

“Nae…! Nae…!!”

There were so many things I wanted to say, but my throat was too narrow to spit them all out, and I was choking.
My mouth was too small, and all I could do was call Nae’s name like a fool.

Nae, who had been watching me, gave a bitter smile and gently stroked my head with her large hand. Overwhelmed by the warmth I had missed so much, I sobbed uncontrollably, pressing my head into her hand.

“Don’t cry, it hurts…”

“Hic…! Hic…!”

“Sigh… Fine. Just cry…”

As she patted my head and sighed, her demeanor reminded me of the past, and I found myself laughing. Seeing me cry and laugh at the same time, Nae looked startled.

“Cry or laugh, just pick one… I’m losing my mind watching you…”

“Then, then… I’ll laugh…”

As I forced a smile and looked at Nae, she smiled back at me. For a while after that, I nestled in Nae’s arms, quietly complaining about my grievances.

“Why… Why didn’t you say anything until it got this bad…”

“I didn’t want you to worry, or blame yourself for my injuries, that’s why I didn’t say anything.”

“What the hell…”

I understood, but I felt a little upset.

“You could have told me that much… We’re family…”

At my words, Nae’s eyes widened in surprise. Did I say something strange? Or was I the only one who thought we were family?

Worries and anxieties began to creep in, but fortunately, they were unfounded.

“Pfft… Right… Family… We’re family.”

Nae, who was stroking my head and laughing, let out a sigh I didn’t understand and looked at me. The warmth in her gaze was even warmer than the large hand on my head, and my anxiety and loneliness melted away like snow.

“So, am I becoming a mother?”

At her faintly spoken words, my heart pounded heavily.

Mother.

I never knew that one word could make my heart race so much. Forgetting all about my recent tears, I grabbed Nae’s large hand with both of mine, my eyes sparkling.

“Can I… call you mom?”

“Sure. Should I call you… son?”

After Nae’s words, we silently looked at each other for a while. The tickling sensation in my chest made me laugh, and Nae followed suit.

“Hahaha… I’ve never even held a man’s hand, let given birth to a child, but I’ve suddenly become a mother.”

“…Do you… hate it?”

“No, it’s just a bit surreal. When I first picked you up, I never thought we’d have this kind of relationship.”

As Nae blinked her eyes, looking into the distance as if reminiscing about that day, she suddenly sighed. I was startled, thinking she might be in pain, but the words that came out of Nae’s mouth were completely unexpected.

“Come to think of it, I still don’t know your name. What’s your name?”

“…Isn’t it too late to ask?”

“No, well… Like I said earlier. I didn’t know we’d have this kind of relationship. Even when I found out you were a slave, I had planned to send you back to the village when spring came.”

As Nae shrugged and spoke, my mouth fell open.

“Now, it’s not like that, right?”

“If it were, I wouldn’t have told you to call me mom.”

Only after hearing that did I feel relieved and laughed heartily. Nae, who was stroking my head, asked me once again what my name was.

My name.

A name that had never been properly called in my life. The name of a child born between a hero and a saint, cursed by the gods.

“….”

I chewed on the name that had been swirling around in my mouth, and then swallowed it. Yes, I am not who I was back then.

“…I don’t have one.”

“You don’t have one?”

“Yeah. I don’t. Have anything like a name.”

“Hmm… I thought you might be a slave, but I didn’t expect it to be true…”

“So, Nae should give me one.”

Upon my playful request, Nae, who had been blinking in surprise, let out a groan. With her arms crossed and a frown on her face, she tapped her arm with her finger as she pondered. After a long deliberation, Nae opened her mouth with a nervous expression.

“I’ve never named anyone before, so it might be a strange name, but is that okay?”

Was she thinking about that? Nae, who was sneakily checking my reaction, was so cute that I couldn’t help but laugh.

“Hehehe, if it’s a name from Nae, anything is fine.”

“Then… Venus.”

“Venus?”

“The star that shines the brightest in the sky. So, it’s Venus.”

Venus, Venus… I chewed on the name given by Nae, nodded my head, and smiled brightly.

“I’m glad you seem to like it. I was worried about what to do if you didn’t.”

“I said anything from Nae gives me is good.”

“Pfft… I see. By the way… do you know how many days have passed since that day?”

“It’s exactly a week today.”

“No wonder my body feels heavy.”

Nae, who spoke with a giggle, stretched her arms above her head and yawned. There was a cracking sound.

“Ugh…! I feel like I’m going to die from lying down for too long.”

“Ah! Should I give you a massage? Or do you want to eat first?”

“No need. I can’t even sit because of my legs, let alone get a massage. As for food… I’m a bit hungry, but I need to treat my legs first.”

Nae said this as she looked at her swollen legs. Her legs were smeared with herbal medicine.

“I’m sorry… I tried my best to find and apply the herbs, but it didn’t get better at all…”

“It’s okay. It’s thanks to the herbs that it ended up like this. Otherwise, my legs would probably have swollen twice as much.”

“That much swelling? Wouldn’t the leg burst…?”

“Haha! I’m kidding, just kidding. But you, you’ve been subtly speaking informally. You should speak formally to your mother, you brat.”

Nae tapped my nose with her big finger. When I showed a smile because it wasn’t painful at all, Nae looked out the window.

“Hmm… Our black rabbit… no, our Venus. Can you do one favor for mom?”

“A favor?”

I tilted my head at her request. What could it be? If it’s something I can do, I should do it.

“There’s a herb used when a leg is broken. But that herb is a bit far away.”

“Where is it…?”

“It’s beyond the mountain valley where I usually hunt. It’s a bit far… can you go there?”

“That’s easy! What does it look like?”

“Huh? Oh… it’s yellow. A yellow flower. It’s blooming close to the ground and the color is so bright that you’ll notice it even at a glance.”

“Yellow flower… Okay! I’ll be right back!!”

I opened the door of the hut with a big smile. Yellow flower.

And with that, I walked out of the hut singing.