Chapter 2 – 1. Disappear (2)

1. Disappear (2)

An unknown man took me to his mansion. Once there, I was made to change into the attire worn by the mansion’s servants.

I was taught a variety of tasks, from cleaning and dishwashing to the proper way to greet the master upon his return.

Yet, this accursed body of mine once again failed to perform its duties properly. No matter how much I cleaned, dust always remained. Each time I washed dishes, I seemed to have a knack for breaking plates.

When I managed to wash dishes without breaking them, I would invariably prick myself on sharp forks or cut my hand on the edge of a knife. At least I wasn’t breaking any plates.

The wounds on my hands were thankfully not deep enough to bleed. But without the calluses, they certainly would have.

‘So, this is where it comes in handy.’

With a bitter smile, I clenched my hardened hand. But that only lasted a day or two, as my reputation within the mansion began to plummet with each passing day.

“That guy? The one who’s always breaking plates.”

“Sigh… I feel sorry for the master. How did he end up with such a klutz…”

“Hey, he might hear you.”

“What if he does? He should be grateful we’re this patient with him. He’s useless.”

I didn’t feel bad. On the contrary, I felt sorry. Sorry for being so worthless, for not being worth the 2 million gold.

No, actually, I wasn’t sorry. Why should I be? It’s not like I asked to be sold.

Such thoughts briefly surfaced, but they were quickly suppressed when I heard the master calling for me.

So, I made my way to the office where I was summoned. As I raised my hand to knock, a voice from inside beckoned me in.

With a trembling hand, I turned the doorknob and the door creaked open. Startled by the noise, I quickly stepped into the office, careful not to disturb the master’s peace.

“I heard you called for me.”

“….”

The sound of a sharp pen scratching against paper sent a chill down my spine. It was as if an insect was buzzing in my ear.

Scratch, scratch.

Even though it was just a pen moving, it felt as if I was being sliced by a knife. My breath caught in my throat.

“Did you break another dish?”

That single sentence suffocated the remaining breath out of me. My vision blurred, and my limbs trembled.

“I… I’m sorry…”

“….”

Scratch, scratch.

As always, I closed my eyes tightly and apologized, but there was no response. If only he had gotten angry like my father, or resented me like my mother. Then the pain would have been fleeting.

“How much do you think I paid for you?”

“Two… two million gold…”

Scratch, scratch, scratch.

The master simply continued to press down on me. Slowly, yet surely, as if squeezing a soft frog with utmost care to prevent it from bursting.

Until my face turned bright red. Until my eyes were about to bulge out. Until I was on the brink of vomiting my insides out. He just kept pressing me until I was on the verge of bursting.

The pain was so intense that I felt I might lose my sanity. The realization that struggling was futile was too terrifying.

“Do you know exactly how much two million gold is worth?”

“I… I don’t know…”

Scratch, scratch.

“This mansion you’re living in is worth one million gold.”

“…Ah.”

Scratch, scratch. Scratch, scratch.

“Do you think you’re worth two of these mansions? This mansion blocks the cold north wind and provides warm nights. It allows for the preparation of warm meals and shields from rain and snow.”

Scratch, scratch. Scratch, scratch. Scratch, scratch. Scratch, scratch.

“In contrast, what can you do? No, what have you achieved? Apart from your face, what do you have? What can you do for me?”

“I…”

“How many dishes have you broken so far? How many ceramics have you shattered? How many more mistakes do you need to make to be satisfied? Even when I asked you to serve me at night, looking at your half-hearted face, you refused because we’re both men and defied me. Why do you think I bought you?”

Scratch, scratch. Scratch, scratch. Scratch, scratch. Scratch, scratch. Scratch, scratch. Scratch, scratch. Scratch, scratch. Scratch, scratch. Scratch, scratch.

“You’re worthless. You’re incompetent. You’re utterly useless. I regret the past me who was blinded by the heat of the moment and paid two million gold for a piece of trash like you.”

“I’m… I’m sorry…”

“Get out. I can’t stand the sight of you.”

“I’ll… I’ll leave…”

“No. Strip right there. Down to your bare skin.”

At those words, I doubted my own ears. When I looked up in surprise, emotionless eyes, cold as glass, were staring at me.

“Leave everything I’ve given you here and get out of this mansion.”

“But… but sir… it’s winter outside…”

“What does that have to do with me? Considering what you’ve cost me, I’d like to tear you limb from limb right now, but I don’t want to see blood in my mansion. What more do you want? Have you no shame?”

“Ah… uh…”

In the end, I stripped off everything I was wearing.

“Fold them neatly and bring them to me.”

“…Yes.”

I folded all the clothes I had been wearing, handed them to the master, and then left the office. As soon as I left the office, two nameless knights were waiting for me.

Without a word, they grabbed my arms and started dragging me away.

“Wait, wait! I… I can walk myself!!”

“….”

“Let… let me go!! I… I can walk… ugh…!!”

“….”

No matter how much I struggled, there was no response. All I could hear were the sounds of laughter from those around me, mocking me.

“Pfft… Is that even worth noting?”

“I thought he didn’t seem very manly… Now it all adds up~”

“Hey, he’s only ten years old. Who knows how he’ll turn out?”

“Well, even if he does mature… it’s pretty clear what he’ll become.”

“Hehe… Would any woman want to share a bed with such a pathetic creature?”

I felt like I was losing my mind. The humiliation was unbearable.
I wanted to die. I wanted to bite off my own tongue.

I wanted to tear out my eardrums.
Don’t look at me. Don’t look at me. Please, I beg you, don’t look at me.

But that thought vanished as soon as the mansion’s front door opened, and the chilling cold wind hit me.

It was cold.
So cold.

The fear of being driven out into the cold was driving me insane.
But the two knights…

“Get lost. Never set foot here again.”

“Ah!?”

With a loud bang, the door was firmly shut.
It felt like my limbs were being torn apart. My whole body stung as if it had been whipped.

“P-please! It’s too… c-c-cold!!”

I knocked on the door. Begging for mercy. Begging for my life.
But no one opened the door.

Those visible through the window just kept laughing at me endlessly.
That’s when I realized.

This place was not for me either.
I thought of going to the city governed by the mansion, but remembering that place wasn’t for me either, I turned towards the forest.

Let’s disappear. Just disappear into the forest.
Whether I become food for beasts or fertilizer for the forest. Anything is fine. Just disappear.

Struggling step by step, wading through the snow up to my ankles, I headed into the forest.
Searching for a place where I belong. Searching for a place where I could be useful.

Eventually, I lost consciousness in the middle of an unnamed forest.

*
*
*

Crack, crack, crack.

I opened my eyes to the sound of firewood burning.
An unfamiliar ceiling greeted me.

Where am I? It’s so warm, could this be heaven?
Did a compassionate God move me to a warm heaven?

“Pity, but this isn’t heaven. And I’m no God.”

Startled by the unfamiliar voice coming from the side, I curled up.

“Wh, who are you?”

“I’m the owner of the bed you’re lying on.”

The one who revealed herself with those words was not a human, but a woman with the hand of a giant lizard. The first thought that came to my mind when this non-human creature appeared was:

Could this monster find a use for me?
Could she make me into something meaningful, valuable?

“What’s with that look? I guess I’m not scary to you?”

“Are you going to eat me?”

“What…?”

She looked at me with wide eyes, as if surprised by my words.
Did I say something strange?

“Monsters… they eat people.”

“Oh, so you think I brought you here to eat you?”

“Isn’t that the case?”

“Pfft! Why would I eat you?”

So even here, I’m a good-for-nothing.
I can’t even be food for a monster, or fertilizer for the forest. I’m just trash.

“…I’m sorry. If I had looked a bit tastier….”

“What?”

“I’m sorry… for being utterly useless…”

“Why are you suddenly saying that? I barely saved you from freezing to death in the forest, and now you’re trying to bury yourself again?”

“But if I can’t even be your prey, I’m just a worthless person…”

“Huh… You’re a peculiar one…”

She chuckled and mumbled to herself as she approached me.
Is she going to eat me? Or is she going to kill me and scatter me on the ground?

Either way, if I can be of help… I’m satisfied with that.
As I closed my eyes and waited for the end of my life, a hard but warm hand was placed on my head.
Even though she could easily crush my head with a squeeze, she didn’t.

She gently stroked my head with her enormous hand, so gently that my neck didn’t even shake.

“Don’t be so gloomy. I brought you here because I wanted to.”

“Do you… need me?”

“No? It’s just that it’s unsightly when people freeze to death near my house. That’s why I brought you.”

“Then… you’ll abandon me when spring comes. Because I’m a useless piece of trash….”

“You don’t have to be useful here.”

That one sentence, shot out like an arrow, struck my heart directly.

“Being useless… is okay…”

“As I said before, I brought you here because I wanted to. Just being by my side is enough. It’s lonely being alone.”

She, who revealed her sharp teeth and laughed, “Nihihi”…

“I’m Nae. No last name. Just Nae.”

She was like the sun, and just looking at her made me tear up.