Chapter 79 – Friends, Allies, and Enemies (25)

Friends, Allies, and Enemies (25)

I let out a sigh.

It’s been a day full of events.
Though I speak as if the day has passed, the sun is still high in the sky.
Anyway, on my way to meet Rahi, I happened to run into Chloe by chance.
The sequence may be wrong, but somehow it didn’t matter, and in the end, I was able to handle both matters at once. My business in Myluman is done; just need to retrieve the letter, and then it’s truly over.

I can escape Myluman.

Although it’s a place where I regained my health, I don’t have any particularly good memories. I just want to get out of here as soon as possible.
Good memories… if I had to pick, maybe that one time at the inn.
So, I have no regrets about leaving.
It definitely should feel good to leave Myluman, but there’s an uncomfortable feeling somewhere.
I can head to the Dragon Kingdom now. Not much time left until I can return to my original world. Finally, I can go back!

I should be happy about that.

But somehow, a bad premonition creeps up on me.

Well… nothing has ever gone smoothly for me.
Surely this time too, I’ll get caught up in some unexpected event.

That’s why I think so.

When I return to my lodging, maybe it’s painted with blood.
Or Nerati jumps out from behind.
Or some crazy old guy who loves booze and carries a suspicious greatsword appears behind me.

Even if it’s not that, there are a variety of events that could happen. After all, anything that happens would be unexpected. In this harsh world, only those who are prepared survive.
If you’re not prepared, you die. That’s common sense here.

So, I’m preparing.

“Kuhah… Ah.”

It’s daytime drinking. Enjoying alcohol in broad daylight.
A celebratory drink… I suppose. It’s to ease my mind.
A legitimate reason.
If not in Myluman, there might not be a proper place to drink. It’s doubtful if there will even be time.
Well, there’s plenty of time, but if I stay in one place for too long, I start to feel uncomfortable somewhere. It seems my personality isn’t suited to settling down anywhere.

…I thought staying put was the happiest thing back then.

An unpleasant memory comes to mind.
I poured that memory into the glass and down my throat.

“…Kuh.”

The taste was bitter.

They say if life is bitter, alcohol is sweet.
Why can’t I taste any sweetness?
Have I not yet tasted the real bitterness of life?

As expected, I hate alcohol.
A beverage that’s only bitter, with no advantages to be found.

And yet, I emptied another glass.

I got tipsy in no time.
Even though I ordered the weakest stuff, look at me now.

Well, it’s about time to wrap things up and get going.

The kids must be up by now. I should pack up in advance.
It’s going to be a long journey to the Dragon Kingdom.

I put the bottle down.
Luckily, the bottle was empty.

“….”

For some reason, I don’t feel like getting up.
It might be because of the alcohol. Or maybe the reality of returning to my original world hasn’t fully hit me yet.

Can I really live properly once I go back?
Years must have passed… how has the world changed?
My friends… they’ve probably forgotten about me by now. They’re not the type to remember someone who disappeared in an instant. By this time, I must have been completely erased from their memories long ago.

I wanted to shout for another drink,
but I hadn’t drunk enough to lose my reason, so I stopped myself.

I have to get up.

I promised myself.

I leave the money on the table.
And I start walking towards my lodging.

Or at least, I tried to.

“Whoa…!”

It was about five seconds after leaving the tavern when something brushed past my nose.

It was incredibly fast. Like an arrow in its speed.
But it wasn’t an arrow. Just a person moving a bit too quickly. Someone in a hurry, not paying attention to their surroundings as they ran.

I wanted to shout something in my drunken state.

But that would draw too much attention, so I refrained, though I felt like it.

A green-haired elf.
At a glance, for some reason, she had a familiar, memorable appearance.
I should definitely remember her.
If I meet her later, I’ll make sure to say something.

I don’t think I’ll be in Myluman for long, but you never know with people.

Just as I was about to move on, the elf who had just passed by came running back this way.

On closer inspection, it’s Chloe.
She runs past me again, heading in the opposite direction.

“…What’s going on?”

Is she trying to dodge the press?

Well, the reason isn’t important.
I should follow her.
I don’t want to move because I’m slightly dizzy, but when else will I get this chance? To get the open letter, I need to follow Chloe.

The idea of resting a bit and then moving with Cecilia had long since vanished with the alcohol.

So, a bit unsteadily, I followed Chloe.

The sky is spinning.
That’s how it felt.

I really hate alcohol.

* * *

I knew it all along.
There was a more certain way than wandering around and shirking responsibility.

As soon as I realized that method, my mind cleared.
It felt like a contrast to the gloomy world.
It seemed like I could do anything I wanted.

The meeting with Tel confirmed it.

And then it darkened again, as if fog had set in.

Why had I treated Troka that way? Why was I proudly engaging in such despicable acts?

No, it’s irrelevant now.
Troka didn’t tell me the truth.
If I had known the facts, I wouldn’t have acted that way.
I’m sure of it…

…I’m still just avoiding things.

So I run.
I keep running.

Now, I can’t think of any place I need to go.

Where would the usual me have gone?
Well, I’d probably be venting my frustration at a friend’s house.
There, I would have found comfort.
And I would have lived as if nothing was wrong.

Because my friends are everything to me.
If I went to them, they would surely tell me where I needed to go.

But for some reason, I can’t go there now.
Even though most died in the war, I still have countless friends. Yet, I can’t go to any of them. Instinctively, I seem to refuse to head that way.

It’s only natural.
I can no longer see my friends.
Even the friend I trusted the most did it. Why wouldn’t the others?

Who else will betray me?
Who else will gift me with such feelings?

I don’t know.

After losing all my family, I felt like I could live a lifetime with just my friends. Friends who would stand by me solidly, who would ease my loneliness.
I was betrayed.

No matter how good friends are, family is best.
The one who killed that family.

I feel like I’m going to vomit.
Even while I’m running.
I feel something surging back up.

It’s not just because of the betrayal… but I can’t say that’s not a main reason.

It’s because of Troka.
Why did he hide the truth from me?
It wouldn’t have benefited him in any way.

I.

At least if I had tried to find out the truth, I wouldn’t have ended up with such content in the newspaper. What the hell is this? Why do I have to think about such things?
After my family died, all I wanted was to live happily with my friends.

I didn’t want this.

If I could have solved the newspaper issue, maybe my head wouldn’t be in such a state.

But I guess I couldn’t have stopped losing trust in my friend.

The sky I looked up at was nauseatingly dark.
So dark it made my head hurt.

The pounding in my head is unbearable.
I don’t even want to hear my friend’s voice.
I despise myself for having to ponder over these issues.
And the flickering image of Troka’s face.

At the end of the path I’ve run, I find myself in a space enclosed on all sides. Blocked in every direction. Just looking at the suffocating stone walls surrounding me makes me feel claustrophobic.
It feels like my head is about to split open.
The only opening is a hole in the ground.

As if bewitched, I look down.
The waterfall below is dark.
And there unfolds an endless, mystical expanse of light.

My head grows faint.
Yet, at the same time, it feels clearer.

If I escape to that place, might this pain disappear?

All of it.
Without the need to think.
Could I escape?

“Ah…”

Suddenly, my legs give way. I tried to resist, but I just accepted it.
Friends are meaningless.
They’ve become meaningless.

The debt I owe Troka, I’ve only managed to increase it with my own hands. I haven’t repaid a single one.

So it’s a life without purpose.

If I run away, I can escape all of this.

And so, I ran away again.

Slowly, a mystical sensation of floating envelops my body.

Then, I see the sky.
It seems a bit clearer.
Like my heart.
Calm yet darkly azure.

And then,

Thud,
Thump,
Crack,

…Splash.

* * *

Following Chloe was tough.
Despite having recovered quite a bit, it was physically demanding. Suddenly entering the forest and moving through the trees. Catching up with a high-speed moving object isn’t something an ordinary person can do.
I’m not a monkey, after all.

After a while of following those faint footprints, I finally came to a dead end.

To be precise, it was a path that opened downward.
A cliff.
A place with nothing but a hole leading to Myluman’s underground waterfall.
Surrounded by high stones on all sides, even Chloe would take a while to climb out. At least until I reached this spot, she couldn’t have escaped.

But Chloe was nowhere to be seen.

Chloe definitely made it here.
And then she disappeared.

I cautiously peered down the only way out.

The waterfall in the distance was clear.
And an endless darkness unfolded.

My steps halted.
A cliff.
Chloe was gone.

“…”

I can roughly guess what happened.
What choice she might have made.
Unless she noticed my pursuit and erased her tracks, surely Chloe…

Well, the letter must have been opened.

That thought suddenly crossed my mind.

And then I decided not to think any further.
At least not until I’ve checked Chloe’s letter. Let’s not think about anything.

I stared at the hole for a while, then finally moved on.

Looks like I’m still trash after all.

The sky on the way back seemed a little clearer.

That was the feeling.