Chapter 59 – Friends, Allies, and Enemies (5)

Friends, Allies, and Enemies (5)

When I came to, I was by Flan’s side.

Without realizing it, I had moved closer to him. The girl named El spoke to me with a shocked expression, but checking on his condition was the priority.

His condition was dire due to missing the morning treatment.

Complete loss of vision, auditory problems.
Severe accumulation of wounds in the Kiesselbach’s area, alveoli, and viscera, leading to a significant amount of bleeding.
Unexplained mental abnormalities, among other things.

I wondered how he was still alive.
If it weren’t for his will to deliver the letter, it wouldn’t have been surprising if he had already died.

But all I could do was prevent his condition from worsening.

If I could heal him with the power of the goddess, he would recover quickly. But for some reason, using the goddess’s power made Flan’s condition worse. Therefore, all I could use was low-quality, simple healing magic.

Fortunately, the bleeding stopped quickly.

After the brief treatment, I had a conversation with the girl El, who seemed kind-hearted as she was worried about Flan after seeing him collapse. From the start, she didn’t seem like a bad person.

When explaining about us, I had to mix in lies. Telling the whole truth would have revealed our identities.
I didn’t mention a word about the dragon we were traveling with. There was no sign of it appearing anyway. If it was well hidden, no one would know.

When explaining Flan’s story, El was moved to tears and refused to take the lodging fee, which made me feel quite sorry.

After the conversation, with El’s help, we moved Flan to an empty room.
He always had an angry expression. But lying there silently, he looked quite content. If it weren’t for the injuries, he would have been quite handsome. I even had such ridiculous thoughts for a moment.

Anyway, a week passed.

Flan opened his eyes.
And he had lost his sight.

My heart felt like it was going to break.

If it weren’t for the goddess, he could have lived a happy life. But because of the goddess, he was summoned to this world, abandoned, shunned, and suffered until he was on the brink of death.
It was torturous.

If only when I first met him, instead of branding him a disgusting person, I had asked why he had accumulated such sins, could something have changed?
But why didn’t I?
Why didn’t I even ask for his reasons before judging him…

Being able to atone for one’s mistakes is a tremendous blessing.
But, at the same time, it’s also a tremendous curse.

How agonizing must it be to know you’ve done wrong but be unable to atone for it?

Now, I think I can understand.

The hero is already dead, and there’s nothing that can be done.
But Flan is alive. He’s right in front of me, moving vividly… and there’s nothing I can do. A heart that has long been closed, I wish to open it, but it cannot be opened.

I thought he would despair.
But even after losing his sight, he didn’t particularly show it.

He swore at first when he realized the fact, but that was it.

The days that followed were strangely peaceful.

Flan was no different than usual. If there was any difference, it was his expression.
It was the face of someone who had finally put everything down and could rest.
When he was with the innkeeper, he always wore that expression, but as soon as I approached, his face would harden. That part was a bit sad.

Still, I preferred having him close by, even if he disliked it, rather than keeping a distance.
After being chosen as a saint, I couldn’t form a relationship with anyone.

And, seeing Flan gradually let go of his burdens, my heart eased as well.
Flan despaired after losing his sight.
But even that was a salvation for him.
He didn’t have to suffer anymore. He could rest easily.

I didn’t tell him, but there was a way to restore his sight.
Of course, there would be a price. Nevertheless, it was possible to reverse his damaged eyes.

But I couldn’t say it.

He needed to rest.
Dragging someone who had barely escaped from hell back into it was something I couldn’t do. Now that he was starting to show emotions he usually didn’t, if I mentioned that his sight could be restored, he would head straight for Myluman.
Unless he says he wants to leave first, I must never speak of it.

That’s what I thought.
As I watched him regain his spirit, time just passed by.

And then, on a day when a downpour raged.

Flan came to me.

“…We’re leaving for Myluman.”

With the words I least wanted to hear.

* * *

What might be the most important of the five human senses?
Naturally, it’s the eyes.
They are the organs that receive the majority of sensory receptors and provide the most direct information. That’s why humans and other animals expend so much energy on vision.

To put it simply, without eyes, there’s not much one can do.

My eyes, such crucial organs, are ruined. And not just ruined—they’re completely shattered.

Yet, I can still see light. Or should I say, I can discern different degrees of darkness?
Well, since I can’t really see properly anyway, it doesn’t matter what you call it.

After living nearly blind for a month, I’ve realized something.
I don’t want to do anything.
It was such a vain feeling.

*

I wake up to the morning sunlight again today.
I’m not sure if saying ‘I wake up’ is the right expression.

“Is it morning…?”

With my eyes ruined, it’s hard to tell night from day. These days have been full of inconveniences.

“You’re awake, Flan… I’ll step out for a bit, so call me if you need anything.”

I hear a voice from beside me.
It’s Cecilia.
She’s been by my side for the past month.

After losing my sight, I’ve oddly felt Cecilia sticking closer to me.
She says she’ll be by my side to support me since I can’t see.
I didn’t mind it.
But I have Mind’s Eye, so it’s not a big issue. I don’t deeply trust Cecilia, so there’s a bit of discomfort.

“Um, are you feeling alright?”

The door opens with a clunk, and a voice comes through.
It’s El.
A short, black-haired elf, probably.

“Ha, I’m fine. I’m used to it by now.”

It’s been a long month. El, the innkeeper, has also been helping me.
After I collapsed, it seems she managed to finish talking with Cecilia. Cecilia isn’t the type to talk well, but she must have managed somehow.
I’m grateful just for her presence, and even more so for her taking care of me like this.
It’s probably for the money, but what does it matter?

“Yes…, I’ll leave your breakfast next to you, so please eat with Cecilia when she comes.”

Being able to sit on the bed and rest, having someone else take care of meals.
Life at the inn was truly comfortable.
I wanted to end my journey here and just rest.

But time flows on without knowing my heart.

Moving forward, walking, standing up.
That’s all I think about, but I keep lying down.

I thought it was okay not to move anymore since I lost my sight.

…But I still have to get up.

I must walk until I can walk no more. That is my fate.
To abuse my body to this extent, a peaceful death is out of the question.

Not that I ever intended to die peacefully.

Ah, right, Valkvogel still shows no signs of waking up.
I’m the one who’s been through hell, so why can’t he regain consciousness?

Even when I ask Cecilia, the answer is always the same. She’s never seen a dragon suffer from the side effects of mental assimilation, so she doesn’t know when he might wake up.

If only Cecilia hadn’t left Valkvogel in the room next door.
If only I had drawn my magic sword as soon as I met her.
If only I hadn’t delivered that letter.

Well, I know she’s a dragon, so she’ll wake up eventually. But that doesn’t stop me from worrying.

Being blind has led to an increase in idle thoughts.
And all those useless thoughts disappear with the sound of the rain.

Yes, the rain.

Recently, the sound of the rain has become more intense. It’s caused many sleepless nights.
The persistent drizzle here has turned into a downpour.
The fact that the northernmost part of The Great Forest is experiencing heavy rain means that the monsoon front that was lingering in Myluman has risen.

In other words, it was time to depart.

I could no longer delay.

Yet, I can’t shake the desire to stop.

Though the journey is also a form of atonement, I still don’t want to die.
Disgustingly so.

Well, I am human after all. It’s inevitable that one’s own life is the most precious thing.

…But still.

When I think of El, it feels like I can keep going.

Life at the inn was happy.
El, the elf who reminds me of her, and Cecilia, who for some reason treats me kindly. It was the second act of kindness I had received in my life. But no matter how happy the times are, they are merely an imitation of fire. The happiest moment of my life will never return.
If I want to become something, I must first get up and walk.
Lying here waiting for death quietly is not in my nature. Even if I faint, I’m the type to die running.

“…Cough.”

I don’t have much time left, so I can’t delay.

When it’s time to go, I must finish everything so I won’t have any regrets.
Unlike someone, I don’t have friends to entrust my duties to.

…What could Nicola be doing?

With those idle thoughts, I get up.
Staggering, I move towards the door.

And I grab the doorknob.

Now, truly,

It’s time to depart.