Chapter 54 – What Happened Next

What Happened Next

It was a strange companionship. A saint carrying a dragon on her back. Such unimaginable things were continuously happening, things I would never have imagined before.

For me, it was all the same… but I could only sigh at the thought of Valkvogel waking up and going berserk. She had been beaten down by the hero without being able to do anything because of the saint during our previous skirmish. Perhaps Valkvogel would try to kill Cecilia as soon as she opened her eyes.
Thanks to the collar, some of her power was sealed, but a dragon is still a dragon. It’s only me she can’t attack, so she could very well kill Cecilia if she wanted to.

The good thing was that Valkvogel had been asleep up until now.

She stopped convulsing and it seemed like she would wake up any moment, but she remained unconscious.
Well, thanks to that, I was able to move around comfortably, so it wasn’t too bad.

Also, Cecilia turned out to be more useful than I thought.

Not because she answered the questions I wanted. She was surprisingly helpful throughout the journey. The saint had been involved in numerous volunteer activities. Whether the help she provided to people was true or false, she had left a good impression on them.
Meaning, even if she was traveling with a somewhat suspicious man, she wouldn’t be questioned, and we could easily rent a carriage.

It had been almost a year since I last rode in a carriage.

How long had it been since delivering a letter was this comfortable? Conditions had been better before I met Master, but subjectively, now felt overwhelmingly more comfortable.

Perhaps because of that, as soon as I got on the carriage, I fell asleep. My mind told me to stay awake and be wary of Cecilia, but damn my body, it fell into a deep sleep on its own.

I like sleeping.
I dislike dreaming.

Dreams are made based on a person’s memories. Dreams, an extension of conscious activity, can unfold boundless imagination using individual psychological factors, experiences, and memorable events as materials. Sometimes trivial things appear. Sometimes the most important things in life. Well, most are forgotten upon waking, but there are often cases where they are not.

I hated seeing situations that were oddly disconnected from reality appear before my eyes.
That’s why I disliked dreaming.

And more than that.

Looking back at the past was painful.

* * *

Rain is falling.

Even in front of the corpse of the lover I adored, tears did not come. That fact was disgustingly unbearable. Having killed so many, perhaps even the semblance of a human heart had disappeared within me.

The gruesomely deceased figure of her should have been mine.

She took the arrows of sin that were meant for me.
Because of her, I remain alive.

Ha.

To be honest, I did not love Ellie. No, should I say I couldn’t love her?

It’s a laughable story to claim to love someone after killing people like that.

Looking back now, the days I spent with Ellie were tedious and banal. Engaging in loathsome displays of affection with a woman I didn’t even love.
It was an annoying act. I had to perform so perfectly that I even deceived myself.

I never loved Ellie.
The confessions and love from that time were all lies. I am completely unaffected.

Yes, that’s right.
Yeah.
Right.

Please,

Someone, anyone, tell me that’s true.

Silence surrounded me.

When I came to my senses, her corpse was in my hands.

It was instinct.

In the Demon Continent, the dead, regardless of their race, transform into monsters. Humans, animals, demons, all of them. That’s why there’s a special rule here. The rule is to cremate the dead immediately.
If a monster took on her appearance, I couldn’t kill it. If a monster looking like the brutally disfigured Ellie were to move, I felt I would lose my sanity.

With trembling hands, I took out a scroll and set her corpse on fire.
Crackle, crackle, thud. The fire catches.

The flames rise.
No sound reaches my ears.

The pieces of flesh that were once her burn away. The smell is nauseating and repulsive. It was not a scent one could bear with a clear mind.

After burning what remained with a high-quality scroll, in just tens of seconds, her form was no longer recognizable. Where I had laid her down, there was nothing but a skeleton.

Truly, this is a blissful life in another world.

I am feeling a mysterious emotion for the first time right now.

I am truly happy.
Really.

“Ah, aah.”

Because I did not die.
Because I am still alive.

“AAAAAAAH!”

I wanted to kill them. The inmates who made Ellie like this and the subordinates who did nothing but watch. And I wanted to kill myself for feeling relief at having survived.

I collapsed onto the floor as if I had fainted. Thanks to that, my whole body was smeared with the wet mud. With legs that refused to cooperate, I forced myself to approach her. And then, I embraced the remains that lay abandoned on the ground.

No tears came out.

It was revolting.

So revolting that I couldn’t move.

So revolting that, nothing.
Nothing at all.

Nothing whatsoever.

*

It was only when the sun had set and risen again that I could finally control my body. But still, no tears flowed.

I stared blankly at Ellie’s remains, then turned towards the home that once promised joy. If I returned, there would be a warm meal, the happiness called love, and she would appear as she always did.

The front door was gone. It seemed to have been completely smashed when the rioters broke in. Except for a few pieces of furniture that were destroyed, everything was the same.

In the same room as always,
As always, she was supposed to be there,

But she wasn’t.

I couldn’t shed tears.
In fact, it’s not that I didn’t shed tears.

Because I had promised Ellie that day.
I had confessed that I would never cry.

Swoosh.
Looking out the window, I saw that it was raining. It was pouring so heavily it seemed as if the sky had sprung a leak.

Drip, drop. Water droplets fell on my head. It seems the roof was leaking too. Damn cheap house. I should have been more careful when signing the contract. Isn’t this a complete scam? Ha, haha.

Drip, drip. The rain flowed.

It poured so much that my face was covered in rain.

Raindrops that had seeped through the roof fell to the floor.

Running down my face, they wet the fingertips that still held her touch. The gathered droplets settled on the bed where whispers of love had once been shared.

It was raining too much. As if the world was going to be submerged.

The floor was only slightly damp, but why was my face catching so much rain?

Ah, yes. The rain.
It seems the rain hates me.

I wiped my face with my right arm. The rain did not stop drenching my face.

Yes, that’s right.

That’s right. This is rain.

The mirror next to the window was wet, making it look as if my face was smeared with tears. But it’s not like I would cry. Maybe the mirror is broken.

Yes. It’s raining. It’s raining down my face.

Since I cannot cry, perhaps the heavens are crying for me.
Crying so fiercely that my body is drained of strength, as if wailing.

To the point where I can’t even control my own body.

“Keuh… keehee, heehee! Haha! Ugh?”

A bizarre laughter began to fill the room.
I thought it was the sound of someone’s mockery, but there was no sign of anyone else around.

The sound was coming from my throat.
I forced my vocal cords as I scratched at my neck. It was supposed to be a happy laugh. Life should be lived happily, I think that’s what mother said. Maybe that’s why. I had promised her in her last breath. I vowed not to live unhappily, to live the rest of my life meaningfully.

I had promised.

I had also sworn never to cry.

But, as it turns out.
I am.

Incapable of keeping.

Such promises.

I am.

The room wasn’t wet at all.

Only my face was drenched.
The world hadn’t changed one bit.

I hated this world that took everything from me and yet remained unchanged.

I just wanted to give up on everything.
To kill everything, and then to die.

Ellie’s end was a common death in the concentration district. If she hadn’t met me, she would have melted away in a factory, been captured by demons and used as a trinket before being discarded, and when it came time to clean the district, there would be no trace of her—just another common death.

If not for me, who would commemorate her death?

I wished everyone knew this pain. It seemed I couldn’t endure it unless everyone suffered and agonized as I did.

That’s why I wanted to tell everyone about her death. If I killed those bastards who killed Ellie slowly and painfully, they would surely feel Ellie’s agony to their bones.

I would kill as many as I could before I died. After all, I was someone whose place in hell was already assured, so killing a few more wouldn’t make a difference.

That evening, with two swords in hand, I left the concentration district.

There were no humans left alive in the district. It seemed they had all been massacred by a single officer who had been deployed. So all I could do was kill all the escapees.

The closest human territory to the demon continent.
The Great Plains.
I would kill the remnants who had fled there.

With that resolve, when I arrived at the Great Plains, the first thing I saw was not.

A hell like the concentration district.

The Great Plains looked like an ordinary city.
Unlike the concentration district, where one couldn’t see tomorrow’s sun without killing, it was peaceful like a fantasy world from one’s imagination. Surely this was the normal scene… Why did it feel so foreign to me?

I, why did I live like that? Here, why is it here?

Children playing peacefully.
Couples whispering love.
Elderly couples walking leisurely.

The more I walked, the more peaceful scenes filled my eyes. There were occasional people who showed a look of horror upon seeing me, but it didn’t matter. I couldn’t do anything but walk, without any reason.

For what had I been killing so much.

This world, where one must kill people, felt abnormal.

Now I understand.
The abnormal one was me.

Someone who has killed so many people couldn’t possibly be normal.

After realizing that fact, all I could do was take in the bizarre scene before my eyes.

So I walked, and walked, and walked.

Just walked.

And then, at some moment.
With a thud, the play came to an end.

It was warm.

A warm sensation spread through my side. It wasn’t very painful. For some reason, comfort was felt before pain.

My body felt lethargic. If I collapsed now, everything would end.

Well.

It didn’t matter anymore.

Between my wavering gaze and fading consciousness, I saw Ellie. If I die now, could I meet her? Or would she turn away from me in heaven after seeing the sins I’ve committed?

Haha.

My mind cleared up a bit. It was dark around me. Judging by the discomfort in my waist, it seemed I was in some back alley.

Dying a miserable death, unwatched by anyone.
It was a fitting end for me.

And now… I could rest.

“Hey there, hello?”

I wanted to rest.

“Are you the one who’s been helping the Demon King’s army?”

The world even robbed me of my peace.

“Uh…, you seem in a hurry, so I’ll speak quickly. I am the Hero, destined to defeat the Demon King and bring peace to this world─”

“…I’m a subordinate of the Demon King’s army. Just kill me… you fucking bitch.”

“I’m a man.”

“…Fucking bastard.”

I don’t remember much after that.

I had promised to let the Hero behead me after killing the Demon King.
If I were to die by the Hero’s hand, maybe I could alleviate this terrible guilt a bit.

That’s all I remember.

Surely that was it.

‘Hey, what are you doing now?’

‘Take care.’

Damn bastard.

* * *

Clunk.

As my eyes opened, the carriage came to a halt.
At the same time, I felt a sharp pain in the back of my head.

Next to me when I had settled into the carriage was Valkvogel. The abrupt stop had caused my body to tilt towards Valkvogel, and thanks to that, my head nearly got two new holes in it.

“Flan, let’s start moving. It looks like we’ll have to walk from here.”

Despite the throbbing in my head, which I was clutching, Cecilia began to tidy up the carriage without giving me a second glance.

We must have already arrived.

We reached the passage to The Great Forest, the way to Myluman, faster than expected. If we had been walking, it would have taken weeks to get here. Considering we hadn’t been stopped for inspection even once, it seemed the Saintess’s status was indeed more significant than I had thought.

Well.

“…Right, let’s get going.”

It didn’t really matter to me anyway.