Chapter 48 – Faith & Believers (8)

Faith & Believers (8)

My daily life had changed.

Someone had come into my life to cook for me. Every morning I ate a proper meal, and in the evening, my stomach was filled with a warm dinner. I couldn’t have lunch, though. She packed a lunchbox for me, but… I just couldn’t eat it. Given the place where I was, it couldn’t be helped.

Still, those were happy moments.

When I returned home, she was always there in the same room, as always. I liked it when she greeted me with a bright face, asking if I had a good day.

During dinner, I always lied.
I made up stories about where I had been, what had happened during work, and who my friends were.

She must have vaguely known that I was involved in something shady.

Yet, Ellie never brought it up.

She just ate with me, shared simple stories, and stayed by my side until I fell asleep, only to appear at some point the next day to prepare meals.

We were almost like a married couple.
I wanted to rely on her for everything.

But I couldn’t. If our relationship deepened, she would inevitably come to realize the truth. The thought of her looking at me with disgust was unbearable, so the distance we had maintained until now felt just right.

Then, one day, when I was still unable to define our relationship, I received a notice that I didn’t need to go to the factory. It was a message from Nerati. The demon army were discussing the treatment of the containment area, and I was told to stop all work. I didn’t care about the demons’ circumstances, but thanks to that, I got to spend more time with Ellie.

That might have been the happiest moment of my life.

She comforted my broken spirit.
She understood me without digging into my past and offered consolation. Even when she asked if I wasn’t curious about my past, she said it was enough for me to talk about it when I felt comfortable and waited for me.

As long as I was with Ellie, everything was alright. Really, everything was.

During those days, a turning point came into my life.

“Shall we go out somewhere?”

It happened one morning while we were eating breakfast, to the sound of chirping birds.
It was an invitation for a date.

Ellie twirled a lock of hair that rested on her shoulder with her index finger and looked me in the eye. Her voice was confident, as if expecting an obvious ‘yes’ from me.

But I couldn’t go out. People who worked in the factory were not treated normally. Just by being seen with me, she could be put in danger. I didn’t care if I was stoned to death, but the thought of her getting hurt was something I couldn’t even bear to imagine. So I was going to refuse.

Well, as always, my refusal was refused.

But I managed to compromise on going out in the evening.
At least late at night, there would be no risk of my identity being exposed.

During that rare outing, she ran around energetically, as if she had stored up strength in her delicate body. Under the blue moonlight, Ellie shone beautifully.
She held my hand tightly and led me through various spaces. It seemed that Ellie had lived in the containment area longer than I had thought.

And the containment area was larger than I had imagined. Surprisingly, the facilities were decent.

Endless rivers.
Wide parks.
Even a quiet commercial district.

It wasn’t just a place filled with the despair I had imagined.
The factory where I worked was full of despair, but here, I could see hope.

Led by Ellie’s hand, we played with dogs and cats sprawled on the street. We walked slowly through the park and recited poems about the natural scenery.

After wandering around for a while and when I was starting to feel a bit tired, Ellie stopped under the moonlight.

Her black hair reflected the light, creating a mystical atmosphere. The flush on her face was something I hadn’t seen once in the past year.

The smile disappeared from Ellie’s face.
Did she have something to say…? Surely she hadn’t figured out that I worked at the factory?

“Um…, I think we’ve set the mood by now, don’t you have something you want to talk about?”

…Ah, so that was it.

Even though I had never been in a relationship, I could tell.
This was the moment to confirm the feelings we had for each other.

Of course, I wasn’t ready and intended to refuse. I was even prepared for this to be the end of our relationship if things didn’t work out.
Thinking this, I was about to refuse, but then I noticed a man in the distance behind her staring intently at me.

“…What’s wrong? Hurry up and say it.”

The cloudless clear sky offered no cover for my face, and thanks to that, the man saw my face and his eyes widened.
He immediately started running towards us. There was no hesitation. He started shouting something to the people loitering nearby and began to gather a crowd heading in my direction.

A face faintly visible in the distance. Someone I had seen before. Someone I knew. It was the father of the child I had killed.

Ellie seemed not to have noticed the crowd yet.
Now that our relationship had grown closer, I didn’t want my true self to be revealed.

So I ran.
I grabbed her wrist and fled desperately, trying not to lose grip of the wrist I had seized, even though I had no idea where we were heading.

After running for a few minutes, we finally ducked into an alley and gasped for air. She seemed completely clueless about what was happening.

Ellie was drenched in sweat and panting, but even that was beautiful.
It was a ridiculous situation. The blood on my hands was still wet. Was it really right to deceive this innocent girl and grasp this happiness?

Maybe she could know. Anyone with eyes and ears might have heard stories about me. Plus, she might have heard what the man chasing us had shouted.

“Ah, haha… I just have too many friends who like me.”

But I forced a laugh over my rising breath. Surely she hadn’t noticed, I reassured myself as I made up the excuse.
I wasn’t ready to be found out yet.

“Tell me.”

“…What?”

“What you were about to say before we started running. Answer me.”

And still, I wasn’t ready to confess my feelings to her. I thought it would be enough to reveal my heart when I could lay down all the burdens of my mind. That’s why I couldn’t say it here. I wasn’t ready yet.
What would change if I, a disgusting murderer, confessed my love to her while hiding the truth?

And if I were to confess, it should be in a more splendid space…

However,

As always, my refusal was refused.

“You’re so frustrating.”

She approached me.

And then our lips met.
It was my first time.

“Puha… you like me, right?”

“Ah, um, that, I also…”

“It’s been over a year since we met. Just say it quickly.”

I didn’t want to show weakness in front of her.

But it didn’t matter in the end.

It was my first love.
For the first time, I was loved.

That was enough.

“…I like you.”

I didn’t want to lose her.

Even if I would regret it far in the future, it was more love than I deserved for someone who had killed people. I didn’t want to miss this moment. It didn’t matter if it was selfish. After all, all I needed was Ellie.

“I swear, even if it’s just words. I’ll try to make sure that if one of us has to die, I’ll be the first.”

That’s why I wanted to be someone she could be proud of, even a little.

“So, please be my love.”

Perhaps if I had poured out my tangled feelings instead of confessing my love at that moment, the future might have changed. What should I have said? I still don’t really know.

“…I don’t like it. Your confession line was the worst. Plus, your crying. Do you think any girl would fall for that?”

“Ah… that’s…”

Looking back, it seems I was crying. Like a fool.

“…Well, I like that side of you, though. Shall we make a promise? Let’s promise not to cry. Then… I’ll accept your confession.”

She really was an unusual person.
But I was fine with that.

And so, she settled into my heart.

After that day, I joined the Demon King’s army.
Joining the Demon King’s army seemed better than grinding people alive. At least there, I wouldn’t be killing innocent people.
And money, while I could live modestly on my own, now I had a family to feed. There might even be a child on the way… I needed more money.

That’s why, when Nerati came to visit after a long time, I told her I would join the Demon King’s army. She cheered at the news, but for some reason, when she saw Ellie cooking in the kitchen, she frowned and left immediately. I still don’t know why… Maybe she had urgent business. Anyway, that’s how I joined the Demon King’s army.

There were good points, too. I no longer had to kill people in the factory.
I couldn’t escape the guilt that was suffocating me, but at least there were no more sins. That alone made me happy.

My direct superior was Mortis. I had only heard the name, but Nerati said he was quite a famous figure. It didn’t matter who was above me. Whatever the job, it had to be better than working in the factory.

Of course, I was a bit scared at our first meeting.
Right from the start, he shoved a piece of a demonic sword into my throat and ordered me to refer to it as the second demonic sword if he died. I didn’t understand what that action meant, but since he gave no further orders or interference, I was able to live comfortably. Looking back now, he was truly an enigmatic person.

And then, there wasn’t really anything special.
It was a happy time.

We whispered our love to each other and talked about the future. I no longer thought about wanting to die swept away by the guilt of the past.
The place was a bit remote and the facilities didn’t look great, but we got a new house. We couldn’t live in a filthy place, after all.

Even until the moment we confirmed our love for each other, I couldn’t reveal the truth.

Too much time had already passed. I couldn’t talk about it, I shouldn’t talk about it.
It was a selfish thought, but for her sake as well as mine, it was an issue that needed to be shelved for the moment.

Of course, merely hiding it wouldn’t completely heal my psyche, but I wanted to continue spending time with the two of us. I thought those false times, those happy days, would go on forever.

As always, tragedy tends to strike when fate’s timing deems it so.

It all started with a letter.

The complete abolition of human containment zones throughout the Demon Continent.

To summarize the content, it declared the liberation of all humans within the containment zones. It promised to eliminate the fear of being attacked by demons at any time and the exploitation from forced labor. So… enjoy the freedom we grant you.
To put it more bluntly, it meant the annihilation of all humans within the containment zones.

However, to me, it was a meaningless story.
Being part of the Demon King’s army, I was treated as a demon and therefore not included in the targets for annihilation.

But Ellie was not.