Chapter 44 – Faith & Believers (4)

Faith & Believers (4)

When I opened my eyes, I was staring at an unfamiliar ceiling.

In truth, it was somewhat familiar.

I had been in a prison once before, which is why I wasn’t incredibly shocked. All prisons are the same, after all. If there was a difference to note, it was that previously I hadn’t been restrained, but now my arms and legs were chained to the wall. And it wasn’t just a simple binding; I was fixed to the wall in a pose you’d expect to see in some erotic comic.

I’ve been caught, haven’t I?
Then Valkvogel must be… in a similar place.

I’ll just have to take her with me when I escape.

I tried moving my limbs. Contrary to cliché, the restraints weren’t loose. Instead, the more I struggled, the more they seemed to cut into my flesh.

Judging by the quality of these restraints, this place must be the headquarters of the Holy Imperial Court.

And this must be the underground prison.

Time to start planning an escape…

-Clang!

The iron-barred door opened. I had expected it would take an hour or two before someone would show up, but they appeared much sooner than I thought.

Well, it doesn’t matter. The moment I use my second ace, plans become meaningless.

The one who appeared was the saintess, Cecilia, always with the same face. However, her appearance had changed from before. Over her usual pure white garments, emphasizing her purity, she wore a black coat I had never seen her in before. It looked ominously out of place.

Even her expression was frightening. A person rich in emotion who shows no expression is quite a terrifying thing.

“The letter─”

Slap!

My cheek stung. Was asking for it such a wrong thing to do?
And isn’t it usual in interrogations or torture to ask something first and then mete out punishment?

“That’s too much─”

Slap!

Another hit. I didn’t even have time to question it.
The crisp, refreshing sound echoed quietly.

“You’ll regret this.”

She will regret her actions once she reads about my past. It seemed our saintess had only read the tip of the iceberg and was acting without fear for the future.

Slap!

“Let’s take some time to face your past, Mr. Flan. We’ll dig up the sins you’ve committed and you’ll taste those sins. Let’s see how much you enjoy it.”

“The past isn’t something you can just flip through whenever you want~”

“I’m not sure if a beast that isn’t human can repent, but since you were Troka’s colleague, I believe you can do so.”

The mood didn’t seem to allow for any stalling. I wanted to engage in more conversation, but are we moving straight to the main point so abruptly?

Honestly, I was taken aback. That’s why I pretended to be at ease. The past is already gone, and I don’t look back but move forward. That’s how I wanted to appear.

In truth, I didn’t want to tell anyone.

My ugly past.

No matter what the past may be, it’s natural to feel a strong sense of rejection when it’s suddenly brought up.

It’s a story many people know, but still… it’s too soon… not yet.

…Ah, that damned Master said it. He asked if the reason I was trying to deliver the letter was to atone for my past sins. At the time, I ignored it and moved on, but thinking about it now, there’s some truth to it. After Troka died, I couldn’t do anything. It was so futile that I might have made that choice.

It would have been better if I had realized it a little earlier.

After all my running away, I never imagined I would confront it in this way.

Cecilia’s hand approaches. But I couldn’t refuse or resist. She immobilized my tingling cheek as if caressing it, and eventually, her forehead reached in front of my eyes.

…I have to accept it. One must clean up the sins they have accumulated themselves.
I’ve decided to only look forward and move on.

And slowly, when our foreheads touched.

My consciousness was inverted.

* * *

No matter how hard I try to change the past, if I don’t change who I am now, it’s all meaningless. That’s why, to be happy, I must look forward, not back. There’s nothing more foolish than being stuck in a moment that will never come again.

There are countless sayings like this in the world.
And among them, there are times when you understand such words with your head, but your heart just can’t follow through.

A heavy body, drooping eyelids. It’s a sensation anyone on their way to work could sympathize with. The difference is that I’m feeling this in another world, one with swords and magic.

Today was already my 100th… no, 113th day going to work.

Why do I go to work?
Because I was summoned to this world as a hero and was nearly left to die in the Demon Continent, but somehow I managed to find a job.
How did I find a job in the Demon Continent, where living humans are tortured and killed or simply eaten? The demons couldn’t pass up a talent like me, who just narrowly missed winning a debate. It’s all because of my exceptional abilities.

Of course, that’s a lie.

The only reason I’m still alive is purely due to luck.

Just before being devoured by a demonic beast, if it hadn’t been for a high-ranking demon who took a liking to me and spared my life, I would now be discarded somewhere in the forest as the beast’s excrement.
But thanks to the demon’s favor, I survived and was able to enter a human containment facility on the Demon Continent.

So, I’m working at a factory that the high-ranking demon set me up in. Even my rank is high, so I go to work out of fear of what might happen if I don’t.

At first, I vomited several times, and I even attempted suicide dozens of times… but now I’ve grown accustomed to it. After all, the work is simple, and if I let go of all my heart, there’s nothing problematic about it.

The first thing to do upon arriving at the factory is to check the quota for the day.

Today’s quota is three boxes.
To make three boxes, roughly one hour is enough. Perhaps that’s why I started to feel somewhat better.

After checking the quota, I went into the control room.

It’s a simple room that has only a chair and a lever. My job is to pull the rusty lever with the red handle. Just grip the handle normally and pull it down.

Grrr, clank.

Crack.
Crunch.
Grind.

And then everything is over.

I grab the prepared blunt blade, wash my face a few times, and leave the control room for the desolate grey corridor. After walking for a few minutes, I reached the workshop.

In the workshop, there’s a giant cube-shaped structure.

If you look closely around the structure, you’ll see faucets. After pulling the lever, if you open the faucet, liquid from inside the cube flows out. I take a glass bottle from a nearby box and bring it to the faucet. Then, I open the valve and fill the bottle with liquid until it’s full, and once the bottle is full, I put it in the box.

After repeating this several times, the liquid, which emits a terrible red color and a horrific smell, fills the box.
With roughly 20 bottles per box, today I only need to make 60 bottles to finish the work.

What is this liquid?
It’s a liquid that high-ranking demons must use to survive, and its main components are human blood and flesh. This world seems to have an incredibly high population density since it somehow maintains its population even though people are ground up like this.

If no liquid comes out no matter how much you open the valve, then you must go inside the cube. Usually, the liquid stops flowing when one box is filled. The reason for entering the cube is to remove the ‘squeezed’ impurities before putting in the next ingredients.

I take out a new glass bottle and bring it to the faucet. However, the liquid only drips a few drops and no more.

Then, what I must do now is…

…to pay the price for the actions I have taken.

I unlocked the door to the cube, which could only be opened by an administrator, and stepped inside. The smell that filled the place was unbearably familiar.

The inside of the cube was red. It was a scene so thoroughly red that there was no other way to describe it.

There was no trace of the human figures that had been used as ingredients. The solid bones, like skulls, were shattered and scattered like snowflakes everywhere, and everything else was just red flesh. Just a few days ago, I couldn’t bear the nausea, but now my body reacts all too familiarly.

My job was to scrape off the flesh that clung on with the knife I had prepared earlier and to stuff the wet chunks of meat into a bag to throw to the beasts as feed.

Even so, the working conditions had improved a lot. In the past, I had to chop up living people and cook them myself.

Now, all I have to do is pull the lever to finely cut and decompose the people inside the cube, and then bottle the resulting liquid. Cleaning up the residue is just an additional task.

In just one year, I’ve been promoted at such a rate that I might even become an subordinate in the demon king’s army.
Ha ha.

…When such a ridiculous laugh escapes me, I feel like I’m going insane. But I’m sane. Am I doing something wrong?

If I don’t do this, I’ll die. Is it wrong to sell my beliefs and will to live to the demons?

Of course, I could now live off something else. I have saved up some money. Yeah, I could probably get by with just enough to eat. If I live on the edge with one meal a day… I could survive for 10 years, maybe even more.

But why should I do that?

The goddess has abandoned me. If the figure representing the good in this world has abandoned me, why should I uphold the good?

I scooped up the flesh that clung to the walls and floor and put it into a bag. The flesh that stuck like mucus and wouldn’t come off was scraped with a knife and bagged. The bone fragments were carelessly thrown outside; the cleaner would take care of those later.

Rustle.

While I was busy working, a strange noise caught my attention. I turned towards the source of the sound. Among the red chunks of meat, I saw small eyes. They were not the unfocused eyes of a corpse. They were eyes filled with both hope and terror.

Our eyes met.
The owner of the gaze was a child, who at best looked like a lower elementary school student.

“Save… me…”

A sigh of relief escaped me. If there had been a demon inside, I would have been a dead man. But it was just a child that managed to survive.

Sure, then what. The work has to be done properly.
If not, I’ll get in trouble.

Starting as an ordinary human laborer, now I wear an armband and walk around. If I stab residue, I get a hefty reward, and I’ve built up enough trust to occasionally meet with the subordinates of the demon king’s army. I can’t afford to do a sloppy job.

If only the goddess hadn’t abandoned me.
Or if the place she had banished me to wasn’t the demon continent, none of this would have happened.

Now, it’s nothing more than a meaningless hypothesis.

I approach the boy, or perhaps the girl, buried among the piles of flesh. The child, seeing me, seemed filled with relief and cried endlessly.

I emotionlessly jabbed the child’s throat with the knife I had been using to scrape off flesh. As I crushed the slimy substance, crimson blood splattered onto my pants.
With a small death cry, the gaze that was fixed on me scattered.

It didn’t feel good. It was like slaughtering a pig in a butcher shop, I guess. At first, I vomited several times, but now it’s scary how accustomed I’ve become.

“Ah, my back…”

It was just my back that hurt.

And now I repeat this process.

I push people in, and close the door. Then I pull the lever, fill the bottles with the liquid that flows out, and pack them into boxes. Then I gather the remaining scraps and feed them to the beasts. And again, I push people in…

I would have vomited by now in the past.

But that didn’t matter. Today’s meal included bread and meat, a day when I could eat meat, so there was no time to waste on such useless emotions.

My only concern was to take care of today’s quota.

About three boxes would finish it if I filled the cube four times.

The time spent on the work was about 1 hour and 20 minutes.
The ingredients I used today… probably about 120 people.

There’s nothing particularly to do after the work is done.

So with a happy heart, I headed straight home.
Today I can eat meat. Perhaps that’s why my steps were lighter than ever.

Arriving at my cozy home, my consciousness slowly blurred.

Consciousness…

* * *

When I opened my eyes, I was in a familiar place.

And there was the saintess, with tears continuously flowing from her eyes. The sad part hadn’t even come yet.
She seemed to notice that I had regained consciousness and approached me.

“You’re filthy, disgusting, and vile, Flan. You are someone unworthy of salvation.”

“…That’s obvious.”

The very thing I had wanted to hide so desperately, the reason why others behaved so abnormally towards me alone. It was precisely because of these deeds.

Acts so depraved they barely qualified as human.

Contempt flickered in Cecilia’s expressionless eyes. It didn’t hurt much, since even I found my actions repulsive. It was naturally a part I had to endure.

In fact, it was painful. Even being prepared, this was a bit too much to bear.

“Didn’t you know everything? Complaining about it now seems a bit… even I would be heartbroken.”

But everyone who should know does know.
Especially her, I thought she knew it all.

“Unless our foreheads touch, you only see a brief glimpse. I never expected to see such a detailed, horrific scene. Phelion.”

I forced a happy smile at her, who was giving me a look of contempt.

“Ha-ha, that was then. Now I’m the reformed, new Flan.”

A sense of guilt weighed heavily on me. If I didn’t pretend to be cheerful, I felt like I would collapse. I thought I had overcome it all, but if someone could face that again and be fine, would they really be human?

“…Shut up.”

She seemed to dislike the sight of me laughing foolishly.

There were several people who were particularly harsh to me alone. Those who do not think normally, who push only their own justice.
I understand. It’s not that those people are abnormal or crazy.

It’s me who’s crazy. Where would one find someone to treat a madman normally?

To converse normally with a criminal who has killed thousands, tens of thousands, without a second thought? That’s not an easy thing to do.
Even I couldn’t do it.

Unless one is a madwoman like Aeon, it’s normal to feel repulsion first. The emperor let it slide because, despite such vile acts, I had provided a mountain of valuable intelligence about the demon king’s army. Aliana just vaguely knew I was a bad guy and kept her distance. As for master… well, she killed plenty herself, so she couldn’t be too harsh.

“Yeah, well. I get it.”

“You… seem to need a sincere and deep repentance. I swear to Troka, I will definitely make you repent.”

Cecilia clasped her hands together and closed her eyes. From her suddenly quiet demeanor, it seemed as if she were praying.

Repentance, repentance, huh…

I thought I had already paid for my sins. I’ve suffered more pain than the pain I’ve inflicted on others.

The saintess’s pure white eyes turned towards me once again. The look she shot me, filled with negative emotions, was so accusing that it was almost unbearable, making me feel nauseous.

I am a sinner, that’s true. But I did it to survive. If I hadn’t killed, I would have been the one to die.
So, that’s why…
That’s why…

My arms, tied tightly, began to ache. It felt like the blood wasn’t circulating.

…Does someone think I did those things because I wanted to? Can you swear that you wouldn’t have done the same in my situation?

I swallowed the words I wanted to say.
After all, whatever I said wouldn’t reach her.

“Let’s have you taste a bit more of your karma.”

Karma, huh?
That’s funny. Let’s see if you can still say such things and make that kind of face after seeing all of my past.

Cecilia slowly approached. Eventually, her pure white forehead turned towards me. The sacred scent that enveloped the surroundings was so strong it made me want to vomit. The forehead of the saintess, so clean it made me feel guilty of my sins, was about to touch mine.

Thump.
Our foreheads met, and

my consciousness once again disappeared into the beyond.