Chapter 24 – The Terrible Master and Disciple (7)

The Terrible Master and Disciple (7)

“Rise, master.”

Her eyes opened. It was a sensation of drifting in cloud nine for a long time.

If asked what a person who hasn’t died is doing talking like that, she would have no words, but still, it felt like that. Especially since her death seemed to have been hastened recently. She supposed such a metaphor was permissible.

“Tr… Ah, it’s you, Flan.”

There was no way Troka could return. Her mind must have been too muddled.

She shouldn’t have dismissed her only hope, even in jest. Just saying the name made her feel like she was going to vomit. Oh, of course, it wasn’t vomit but blood that kept coming out.

As she sat up, the air changed. Flan’s… no, Flan’s breathing sounded distinctly different.

Truly an unpleasant disciple. Yes, really.
As much as he hated her, he seemed to dislike seeing her in pain. He couldn’t even properly control his own emotions. Well, that was his unique charm, she supposed.
She thought about looking at his face, but her vision was dark. Nothing came into view.

Then she remembered.

She had given her eyes to Flan.

She could no longer read the letter left by Troka. Thinking about it made her feel a bit regretful.

“…So, there is a price to pay, after all.”

She caressed her face. Touching the gaunt cheeks felt somewhat cold. When she tapped the ears, the sound resonated like an echo. Bringing a finger to the tip of the nose, there was a faint scent of flowers.

Touching the eyes, there was no sensation, as if it were a lie. The things that had been vividly felt until just a few days ago had disappeared.

It was because the vessel was hastily made.

In truth, Flan lacked talent. Quite a bit. No, excessively so.
It was a necessary measure to pass everything on to him. Although it was a vain belief, she thought that if she could pass it on to Flan, who was like a blank canvas, perhaps he could reach that realm.

“Come on, let’s finish this. There isn’t much time left, we must hurry… cough.”

Blood flowed out. It seemed a few drops had entered the windpipe. It looks like there really isn’t much time left.
Flan asked with an agitated voice.

“What were you doing to end up in such a state? No, more than that, why are you doing this? Does succession mean for me to follow in your footsteps?”

“Call it a generational change. I’ve committed too many sins in this world, so there’s also a meaning of atonement.”

At first, he was cold as if disgusted. Now he even worries.
He’s a guy she couldn’t understand.

“Atonement? What do you need to atone for is not your sins to the world, but what you did to Troka because of your damn martial arts.”

He didn’t stop there and grabbed the shoulders as if spewing out resentment. She could feel the warmth coming close.

“You.”

It was a trembling voice.

“What do you think of Troka?”

The voice was full of anxiety. It wasn’t a pleasant tone.
Although not visible, the face probably wasn’t good either.

“Disciple. He was a disciple, and he is a disciple. But he left.”

What kind of answer would Flan like? No matter what she says,
he’s a damn disciple who doesn’t know what to do with himself.

“Troka had the ability but lacked the will to act. That’s why I tried to… stimulate him. Though it turned out this way.”

She couldn’t stop the self-mockery from leaking out.

Yet.

“You’re different, aren’t you? You have the will but lack the ability. If you use my power, you can reach the realm. At least, that’s what I think.”

It must be finished.
That is the only atonement I can make.
I’m sorry to Flan, but he must be wishing for it too. To atone for the sins he committed.

“In the end… isn’t that just self-satisfaction?”

“You may think so.”

“…”

The hand slid off the shoulder. Thud, it fell powerlessly to the ground. From his mouth, a few words that didn’t form a sentence continued to spill out. It almost sounded like final words.
After countless arrangements of words had passed, finally, Flan spoke.

“So, how can I live……”

But the words did not continue. The unfinished sentence simply got swept away into the fog.

The dojo was as quiet as ever, and it was noon when the fog slowly began to disperse.

*

I’m not sure anymore.

Letters, old ties.

I just want to go home.

If I hadn’t met Troka in the first place, I wouldn’t be having these worries. Maybe dying now would bring some peace.

…No. I must keep my wits about me for now.
The letter was definitely opened.
It’s the master’s letter, so it must be related. I should start with that information at least.

“Sigh, why was the letter opened… No, where did you put the letter? It seems like it would be a hassle to look for it after receiving the entire succession.”

“I left it in your room. I didn’t feel entitled to read it, so I never intended to open it. Take it back whenever you wish.”

She left the letter in my room? What kind of nonsense is that?
Hmm.
What is this all about?
Why was the letter in the master’s room? Could it be a lie? No, there’s no reason to lie at this point. Does that mean someone else has been here?

My head is spinning. I need to open the letter. But now, I don’t even know why I should.

I have to go home. To do that, I needed to open the letter.
But that’s something others could do as well.
I was just supposed to strut around the imperial city until I could go home. I should have just ignored that damned letter when it said they wanted me to come.
Why did I do this? Could it really be to wash away guilt?

That can’t be.

I came here to open the letter. That’s all.

That was all it was.

The more I work as a courier, the more questions I have, and the more I encounter the past ties I didn’t want to face.

The feelings I have for those women who drove Troka to suicide are nothing but disgust.
And I think of myself as such a disgusting person too.

I just wanted to go home. I’ve endured all sorts of shitty jobs, wanting only that one thing. How am I supposed to live if even that’s taken away from me?

Master, with effort, leaned against the wall and stepped out into the courtyard again.

Still, this has made my goal clear.

“Come out now.”

“Yes…, alright.”

I delivered the letter.
At the same time, I resolve the coexisting doubts.

It’s okay to postpone going home for a while.
Yes, that’s right. Indeed.

If I ignore everything and go home, surely a happy life awaits me.

I put bath salts in the tub and soak for thirty minutes. No, for an hour. The warm heat envelops my body, and the thrilling sensation of goosebumps spreads on my arms that I’ve left out of the water.
Then I turn on the fan to a gentle breeze and slowly dry off.
I feel the touch of my hair fluttering in the cool breeze while basking in the warm sunlight.
And of course, food cannot be absent from this ecstasy.
Freshly made chicken, pizza. No, just ramen with kimchi is enough. Wrapping the spiciest ramen in kimchi and swallowing it down coolly… Wow, that would be killer.
After filling my stomach satisfyingly, I lie down in a cozy blanket and slowly drift into the world of dreams. My body relaxes, my eyes gradually close, and when I wake up, a new morning will come to greet me.

A morning with unresolved questions.
With Troka’s face.
Spewing blood from his throat.

…Am I,
really okay? Every time I open a letter, it feels like I’m losing my mind.

Well, it must be Mt. Muak that’s the problem. Once I get out, I’ll return to being the cheerful Flan I used to be. It must be so.

I should have come here last.
Then I wouldn’t be having these thoughts.

I really do hate the fog.